I moved through my yoga class tonight with strength and intention. My balance wobbled a bit and my mind wandered from time to time but I used my breath to return my thoughts to my mat and steady my muscles. I felt content as the class wound down and when we all laid back for shavasana, the instructor (one of my favorites) spoke to the class with encouragement saying, “You did great. You are doing great.” Hearing these words my eyes stung with tears. It honestly felt like a hug I didn’t even know I needed.
As a new(er) mother, I’ve realized I question myself constantly and worry I’m not doing enough. My mind is a non-stop stream of questions: Was I my best mom-self today? Am I treating them as individuals enough? Do I hold H more than L? Or vice versa? Should I be reading more books? Should I be singing more songs? Are they happy? Am I doing enough? Are they eating enough? Could I have been better today?
All this worry and questioning has become a steady buzzing in the back of my head. But tonight as I took shavasana and heard those words “you are doing great”, I set an intention to stop the questioning….or at least try. Because I AM doing great. Being a parent is hard. Being a twin mom is hard. Heck, sometimes just existing on this earth is hard. But I’m doing it. Just like my yoga postures and breathing – it may not be always perfect, but that’s okay.
So as I get ready for bed I say to myself: “Today I was a mom. I did great. I am doing great.”