When people ask me how things are going now that we have three kids my answer usually includes the words: chaotic, loud, and/or fun. It’s a constant noise, motion, mess making, snack/milk seeking chaos.
I’ve taken more deep breaths in the past 9 weeks than ever before. And honestly I can say I’m impressed with how well I’ve held it together (a huge part of that is because of my amazing husband who was on leave until this past Monday and very involved). But still there are moments like this morning – which is pictured here. The baby needed to eat but wouldn’t because he was so distracted by the twins who were practically
bouncing off the walls. I could feel the tension rising in my body – my shoulders and arms ached because I was so stressed.
I wanted to laugh and play along with L&H but at the same time I just wanted to shout and tell them to leave the room so I could feed the baby before he had a meltdown.
But that’s when it hit me. I could either freak out, yell and later feel bad about it — or I could take a breath and accept that this is just the chaotic reality of our life right now. I chose the latter. I grabbed my pump, gave the baby a bottle so he could eat while watching the “show” and giggled along with L&H as they played. It was nothing of what I thought my morning would look like or quite frankly wanted it to be like (I really wanted to nurse the baby in a quiet room….). But because I accepted it, I felt at peace with it.
And honestly, there’s much more besides the volume level of my home that I’m needing to tolerate. At 9 weeks PP I’ve already found myself impatient with my body and my fitness level. My mind is constantly wandering to my “before baby” life when it was (a little) easier for me to get time to myself. And I’m frequently beating myself up about the fact that my patience seems to be a little thinner these days (the more tired I am, the thinner it is….).
So I’ve decided that ACCEPTANCE is my word for 2020. It’s a mantra (or I suppose a mini mantra) I want to repeat in my head daily/hourly/minute-ly. It’s what I want to focus my intentions on. It’s what I want to come back to every time I feel stretched thin or close to losing my patience about things I can’t control.
This year I am going to accept that:
– my house is going to be loud, messy, and chaotic
– my body needs time to recover from having a baby
– I will likely feel exhausted each and every day
– my clothes aren’t going to fit the same as before right away…or ever!
– my fitness level isn’t what it was before and I’ll need time to build
– my time is rarely going to be my own, there is almost always going
to be a child in my arms or within a 2ft radius of me
– there are times I will lose my patience
It’s not going to be easy to accept all the things I can’t change or control, (I accept that… HAH!) and I know I will need to remind myself frequently of my mindset goal. But I hope to bring myself a lot of mental and physical peace by focusing on ACCEPTANCE for 2020.
What about you? Are there things you want to accept for the coming year? If you were to assign one word to your year, what do you want it to be? Share below!